Fear and Relationships

Posted on Posted in Be Inspired

Relationships are scary!


That is the fear talking.

There are people who have been in relationships and their partners have murdered them in their sleep.


Last year Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 went missing. It didn’t stop people from flying. I mean someone is probably reading this post in a plane on the way to Australia.

I digress.

The point is even though fear is a valid emotion to feel (especially) when you are about to step into new territory, you can’t let it define you.

I understand.

Chike is afraid that if he goes into a relationship with Hauwa, she will cheat on him with Femi.

Tokunbo is afraid that if she goes into a relationship with Ejiro, he won’t love her flaws.

Bayo read somewhere that people always leave. He is afraid Amaka will leave him when she travels to the U.K. for her masters.

Temisan is afraid that David will be like the 5 other guys that screwed her over.

Derin is afraid to forgive Dayo after he cheated. What if he is not good enough?

I can go on and on about how a lot of times we let fear dictate the choices we make when it comes to matters of the heart. Question is, will that change anything? How do we overcome fear and enjoy being with someone who just wants to be with us? Maybe we are scared of our vulnerability. I mean, no one wants to look like the weakling who cannot control his/her emotions.

Zig Ziglar (rest his soul) said  “F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run‘ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.”

You can make the decision to run away from love. You can decide to be single forever and live your life. What if your heart gets broken? What if they leave? How will you cope? Maybe what you can do is just “enjoy the single life,” have friends with benefits – wait, that can get messy and you can start to fall for the person. Maybe you can just be celibate forever and leave your inheritance to your cats (or your best friend’s children).

Or you can decide to take a chance on love. Screw the fear! You can meet someone who does not respect you and takes your love for granted. If that’s the case, you leave. It is their loss anyway. You can also meet someone who will love you unconditionally. Someone who will treat you right and be there in your time of need. Won’t that be awesome?

We cannot live our lives in fear. You have to trust and believe that whoever it is that you want to be with wants to be with you. Obviously, no one is saying you should run along with the next available person that comes your way. All I’m saying is, when someone comes along with a kind heart, genuine spirit and ready to love; will you give the person a chance or will you let your fear make you miss out on what might turn out to be the best thing that would ever happen to you?


Think about it.

Back and forth like a tug of war
What’s it all for, do I want it back
I still got a little flame for ya
Even though you drove me mad
Now and then, I pretend
That it’s you when I close my eyes
You got yours, I got mine
But I wonder where you are tonight

It should’ve been us
Shoulda been a fire, shoulda been the perfect storm
It should’ve been us
Coulda been the real thing, now we’ll never know for sure, ooh
We were crazy, but amazing, baby we both know
It should’ve been us

—- Tori Kelly


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