In My Corner

Posted on Posted in Random Thoughts

Everyone needs someone that will always be in their corner.

I mean in this social media world, it is hard to find friends or family like that. It is hard to have a confidant.

The reason is ,it is 2017 not 2007. Things have changed drastically and people are out trying to make that money. The struggle is real in these streets so I have learnt to stop expecting a lot from people. I understand that people will constantly leave your corner and come back when it is convenient for them.

However, I think I am the guy that stays in your corner no matter what. I mean, I go hard for my friends and most times I think some of them don’t even realise it.

But how do you stay selfless with people that don’t care. What kind of friend are you if you do not support my projects? Are you passionate enough about the things I do to show me love whenever you can? Are you really my friend if I have to cajole you to show up for me? Do I have to follow you everywhere like a puppy? Are we friends so I can make you feel good about yourself?

I grew up with the mindset that I should not expect a lot from my friends but rather I should be the friend that keeps giving. I was taught to constantly show love and be that dependable friend. I mean selflessness is a virtue, right?

The thing is I am not sure that is the right attitude to life. Who is going to be my dependable friend? Who is the friend that is going to keep on giving? Who will be my ride or die and not invalidate my feelings? I know what you want to say. If everyone has this mindset we will have more authentic friendships. Bad news is, everyone does not have this mindset and many are selfish.

So what do we do?

To be honest, I have no idea. I love to have friends but I also now have zero tolerance for bullshit. I am just finding ways to navigate the line of cutting people off and working to make friendships work. With the recession and the many challenges of being a Nigerian, friendships wahala should be a non issue. I cannot come and give myself high blood pressure.

So right now I am working on my self. Learning to enjoy time with myself. Finding things that make me happy as I work on that self esteem. Convincing myself everyday that I am my biggest cheerleader and best friend and no one will have my back the way I will. It is very good to have someone in your corner. In fact it is incredible. However, if there is no one don’t be worried. You are enough. Look in the mirror every morning and motivate yourself. Eventually, someone will come into your corner and will value you more than you can imagine.

 

3 thoughts on “In My Corner

  1. Being your own friend actually works best. The only danger in riding solo is the fact that you might end up being alone. I’ve had my fair of “friends” who just waltz into your corner when they feel like just to get something from you, spend a little time, make you feel you’ve got something good and vanish when you need them most. I have learnt to define my relationships. Anyone who isn’t interested in my activities is not a friend biko.

  2. Sometimes we do have those friends who truly have our interests at heart but we don’t allow ourselves that freedom to be loved right back. There is virtue in giving of yourself, there is also graciousness in allowing yourself receive from others.

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